This may very well be the last post I ever have to make on my tinted Macbook.
This will/may/possibly be my a long emotional end to a long emotional journey… Yh I know… Long and emotional right!?
Before you start reading, I would like you to click here and listen to some epic frequencies that Igbo(y) passed on to me.
“There was performances put on in that room, possibly not vocally”
It all started on the 28th.
Me, Tasha & Bliss headed to chockablock where I was acting like I was drunk, yet all I had the whole day was a £1.99 king meal and a mouth full of C02… DUN KNOW THAT FREE SHIZNIT HOMIE!
After a couple compiled minutes of head movements and metal faced filled teens galvanising an event they paid for just to go back outside for (yes the venue had no ceiling… You would think it would be sick-in-ah-ed but it was nippy for some), Sian, Rachel, Will, Ayo + x amount more joined the festivities.
I haven’t scanned youtube yet but I’m sure the highlight for most was the P.A Tempz did of practically every bar he’s made in his short, and hopefully not near ending, career….
SIDEBAR: SHE’S ONE FAH KING PRICK! AL WAYS CHAT TING SHIT!
Oh yh! I wana congratulate J.Cole on livening up my WMP.
FWhore a reason only the heavens know about, we /a hand full of us left the venue to go Tinsel Town to get Milkshakes and meet Sammy soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for his birthday pre-cont. No typo.
To save the par… Tinsel was closed. Major slaps got dashed… Not to mention creps dem.
Considering that it was like what? 5am in the morning? We couldn’t go home… Or could we? That’s another topic to think about with a splif, whisky bottle and a rugar on your lap you so happen to be stroking whilst staring outside the window with eyes fixed on flying cars and a permanently orange sky.
Sidebar: After reading ‘pre-cont.’ I can see why people may be baffled. BASS ICK LEE his birthday wasn’t Friday, hence the pre, and he already started the celebrations that evening, hence the cont. Sayth.
Pardon the lack of pictures. I’ve got one that will…. Yh a lot of things.
After sleeping with friend’s again (LOL! ‘Pardon me I had to laugh at that’ *Jigga voice*) The P4, Vicky line and Central helped me to get back home to the beginning of the end.
I had told my mum on the 27th that ‘Yh mum please I need to go Cosco early in the morning’
Yh Cosco in the morning as I had to get a number of things before it was too late. Cosco aren’t prick yah nah!?
My mum had to be in Church by 1 (It was 12:30 when I touched my doorstep) and Cosco, Lakeside wasn’t a stone throw away… I appreciate that deed she did for me sooooooo much. Ima buy her Uggs or something.
WHEN I NEED TO SHOP… I JUST HOP IN THE WHIP (WELL THE PASSENGER SEAT AS I HAVEN’T GOT MY OWN CAR YET AND PETROL IS PAR AND IF I WAS TO DRIVE NOW AND GET PULLED OVER BY A LADY ‘COP’ I WOULD HAVE TO SEDUCE HER WITH MY DIMPLES AND LARGE STACK OF MONOPOLY MONEY) AND DRIVE (8)
(Hey! How can you have a Chipmas tree with no star on the top. Easy. Celebrate Stryder-ka. Ooooooooooooo Catch 22.)
So we’re in Cosco now and we only came for my item, but if you know how Nigerian mothers are, or infact any mother, they can’t help a good ol’ look around.
The smile on my face said a lot.
I went to get a Full HD camera for £300.
DID RALPH SAY £300!?
Yes I did say £300.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT RALPH!?
Shut up your annoying me.
A GA GA GA GA GA GA GAAAAAA!
My mum opens my letters (yh it’s a par) so I thought one RANDOM day ima open hers. I wasn’t no badaman to open anything I thought would result in me gasping so I opened the Cosco one. My parents dem are like the black card users of the Cosco game so they get vouchers to the house on a regular basis. This one had a 40% OFF voucher for ANY electrical good.
Knowing my mum likes a bargain but prefers not to spend, I took the responsibility of using this one.
BTW at this point of the day (infact as i’m typing now) I haven’t bathed yet but still manage not to perspire like a prick and smell like Beckton’s sewer systems. Yay flannel and Lynx!
Got to the shopping place now and came across some old friends, quick chats, B.K meal, bare things really before I stepped in the
PAH PAHDA PAH PAH PAHHHHHHHHHHH
DURM DURM DURMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I knew what I wanted from wayyy back but the blue shirt guy kept on plugging stuff and it was only polite to listen.
His name was JJ.
I’m going to be seeing JJ A LOT more.
For those who care:
1. Applecare seems useful
2. If I had a Macbook I would get that one to one thing
3. A lot of people think it’s cool to take pictures of themselves in some next Chiaroscuro effect like THAT’S THE IN TING!
I would of took a picture of JJ but he has literally been in the country for 2 months and 2 days – his Italian* accent was black coffee mixed with an oh zee strong – asking him and explaining why would of been a pasta.
THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY! SCREW YOU IF YOU DIDN’T THINK SO PLEASE!
*He was actually Australian but I wanted to say that joke BAD.
Yes. I got my Macbook people. FINALLY! I tried to throw you off by saying:
‘If I had a Macbook I would get that one to one thing’
But if you never clocked… You never clocked.
SO yh! I got a camera and and Macbook Proooooooooooo….
SHATTAP YOUR WHOLE FAY-EE-ACE!
What would you rather have?
HEY IT’S THE 29TH AND 30TH NOW!!!!
Man had to get all Af on dem dem dem dem and put on a Macbook shower with friends, food and no other macbook!?
Cool kid one: Tasha
Failed to show up due to ‘faulty’ arrangements with other family memebers
Cool kid two: Bliss
Failed to show up as he didn’t take my invitation seriously. Par
Cool kid three: Mervin
Failed to show as he has no Macbook. Jeff
Cool kid Fwhore: Shizzy
Failed to show die to a lack of communication
The two that managed to turn up….
After some diliberation, story telling, bottles of Stella, Skype convos and unnessary fun poking at the fact I don’t have an iPhone, I thought to stick to
THE TINTED MACBOOK!
Sian gave me one call on her way home
‘Ralph I think you should go for the MacBerry‘
Guess which one I chose then….
[sidebar: It’s BARE different blogging on a mac]